TOP 10 THINGS THE BARNACLE ABSOLUTELY CANNOT HELP YOU WITH
The Barnacle is a new-category smart device that is solving parking problems across America, one bad parker at a time. Its versatility is renowned where it adapts to a wide variety of parking management and enforcement situations.
While The Barnacle solves a whole lot of problems, there are some things, unfortunately, that The Barnacle just can’t help you with:
- The Barnacle cannot be used on motorcycles. This is due to the lack of a windshield.
- Do NOT attempt to Barnacle The Batmobile. We repeat – no NOT.
- The Barnacle cannot help if the offending motorist owns a heavy-lift helicopter and airlifts their vehicle away. However, with Barnacle’s GPS tracking, we can help you find their secret lair. After that, you are on your own, man.
- No, The Barnacle no longer doubles as a snack tray. That was a bad idea. Stop asking.
- Barnacle Parking has ceased marketing which implies we help protect the motorist’s vehicle interior by applying a “temporary sunshade”. As popular as this product benefit was, we’ve asked clients to also discontinue related mentions.
- No, you cannot “double your revenue” by applying one Barnacle atop another.
- The Barnacle cannot help with motorists who think “getting a citation” means winning an award.
- The powerful suction of The Barnacle device was designed exclusively for use on windshields.
- Do NOT Barnacle Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris parks where he wants. Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
- Barnacle cannot prevent bouts of Barnacle-mania, whereby adoring fans park badly just for a chance to meet The Barnacle and collect more “I got Barnacled” stickers.
But if you’re interesting in learning what The Barnacle CAN do for you, give us a shout 🙂Get In Touch